Can Purell be used as lube?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize