I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
