We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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