I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
