I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize