I'm drive I can fine osifer
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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