I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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