he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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