maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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