I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
