This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
