Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
