someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
