slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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