well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
