4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
