So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just cut my nipple shaving
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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