I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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