You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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