mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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