i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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