from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
