If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
