it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize