The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
