omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
