I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
