And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
