so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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