I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
