I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
