Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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