It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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