Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
