bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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