How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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