New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
