So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
