I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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