I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
