so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
