u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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