So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
