its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
