the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
