she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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