I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
