Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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