I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
