Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ohyeahhhhhhhhhh hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.

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(847): View more from Illinois

so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.

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(904): View more from Florida

now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.

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(207): View more from Maine

Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?

(1-207): View more from Maine

I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.

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(916): View more from California

Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.

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(785): View more from Kansas

So what's it like to be pregnant?

(913): View more from Kansas

It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.

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