nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
