I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
and you fell through a lawn chair
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
