there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize