Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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