Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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