it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
