I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
