Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize