If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
