Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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