i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
