That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
