I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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