Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
