Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
