dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They took my balls.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
