I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
