She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
