Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
id be glad to
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
