Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He? As in you personified your dick?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
