So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
