some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
