Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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