If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
