Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
