i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize