I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
