Kiss
Puke
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
