He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
