Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He literally asked permission to hit on me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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