He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So many bounce houses so little time
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
