its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize